Deserts and weddings and sharks, oh my...

Those of you (read: no-one) who have been wondering about the lack of activity on this blog, fear no more, for I am back. After my neurotic ramblings about the dangers of the Large Hadron Collider I proceeded to dig a foxhole and hide, awaiting the end of the world. However, the LHC turned out to be a damp squib and I have now sheepishly emerged to rejoin the world that I thought must surely have been destroyed by now.

Anyway, after brushing off the cobwebs and shaving the beard, I dug out my best suit and flew across to Dubai with Sumesh to attend Peter's wedding. "Peter getting married" sounded like one of those urban legends that we used to talk about so I had to make absolutely sure if it was true. And by gad, it was. So I did the square thing and best-manned for him. The wedding went off without a hitch and I dispensed my duties, which consisted of reading one of the lessons and holding the microphone when during the vows. The reception seemed to rattle along fairly smoothly with me doing the toast without getting booed. Then came the horror of horrors; the couples dance.

Now those of you who have known me for a while have correctly equated me to an elephant. Those that have seen me dancing have even more correctly equated me to an elephant with four left feet. So it's no wonder that the prospect of having to dance was causing the temperature of the feet to drop sharply. However, all went well and I didn't cause any riots or medical emergencies. The revels went on till three in the morning but once off the floor, I steadfastly refused any attempts to get me on it again.

The next day was earmarked for taking the desert safari. For those who have been on the Dubai Desert Safari, yes, the bellydance was great. For those who haven't been on the Dubai Desert Safari, yeah, the bellydance is great. But that isn't all. You get taken dune-bashing in a Landcruiser. This activity requires the vehicle to perform stunts that defy the laws of physics. And if you have been crazy enough to eat a heavy lunch prior to this, don't worry, you'll be seeing it again. You are then taken to a Bedouin settlement where there are dune buggy rides, camel rides, photos that you can take with falcons, sand surfing and a whole lot of other activities. There are snacks and drinks that you can partake of. After you've enjoyed yourself for a while, and it has got a little dark, the bellydance begin. The dancer was very talented and could have given Shakira a run for her money. She would also, from time to time, have one of the spectators join her. I thanked my lucky stars that I didn't get called up to dance for the second time in two days. Then you get dinner including kebabs and the like at the end of which they take you back to civilisation.

The last day of the trip was earmarked for a visit to one of the malls. With time running out, we settled on the Dubai Mall and it was a good choice. It is a massive mall with the usual shops but also a skating rink and an aquarium which you walk through. The aquarium is quite an experience and contains several sharks, sting rays and other fish that I can't recognise. We spent about four hours at the mall and can say that we covered approximately 50% of it. Without buying a thing. Yeah.

I am now back home and back to the daily grind. You will occasionally see me standing on the brink of the chasm in my bank balance, wondering how on earth I'm going to fill it up again.

Enough hyperbole. Chow for now.

Arul.